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blowin · Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:27 pm Post subject: When insults had class

Sent to me on the net :
When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -
Clarence Darrow

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S.Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

MrsL · Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:05 pm Post subject:

Another Churchill one:

Churchill returned to the company after visitng the Gents, with his fly open.
"Mr Churchill, your p*nis is sticking out!" said one woman in a stage whisper.

"Madam, you flatter yourself, it's hanging out............"

Laughing

Sorry.

I did the * in that word up there^^^^ as forum ads tend to follow what is posted on the boards................. Shocked

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Radical sanity - it's the way to go.

phil · Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:12 pm Post subject:

Some more from Churchill

A sheep in sheep's clothing
On Clement Atlee

A modest man, who has much to be modest about
On Clement Atlee

An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street, and when the door was opened, Atlee got out
On Clement Atlee

The candle in that great turnip has gone out
On Stanley Baldwin

MrsL · Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:06 pm Post subject:

He makes me look quite nice....................... Twisted Evil

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phil · Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:53 am Post subject:

Noel Coward

[to Peter O`Toole] "If you`d been any prettier, it would have been Florence of Arabia."