countrytalkandtips.myfreeforum.org

GB · Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Posts: 317 Location: Ireland

All hair removal methods have tricked women
>> with promises of easy, painless removal - The
>> Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now --- the wax.
>> Read on.........
>>
>> My night began as any other normal weeknight.
>> Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I
>> then had the thought that would ring painfully in my
>> mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull
>> the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
>>
>> So I headed to the site of my demise: the
>> bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No
>> melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips
>> together in your hand, they get warm and you peel
>> them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever
>> else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no
>> fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius,
>> but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this
>> out. (YA THINK!?!)
>>
>>
>>
>> So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two
>> strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of
>> rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get
>> out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
>> "Cold wax, yeah right!" I lay the strip across my
>> thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It
>> works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it
>> wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no
>> longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all
>> wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin
>> extraordinaire.
>>
>>
>> With my next wax strip I move north. After
>> checking on the kids, I sneak back into the
>> bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
>> championship. I drop my panties and place one foot
>> on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the
>> wax strip across the right side of my bikini line,
>> covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching
>> down to the inside of my butt cheek (It was a long
>> strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself...RRRIP!!!
>> I'm blind!!! Blind from pain!!!! OH MY!!!!!!!!!
>>
>> Vision returning, I notice that I've only
>> managed to pull off half the strip. Another deep
>> breath and RIP! Everything is spinning and spotted.
>> I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must
>> stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums?? Breathe,
>> breathe...OK, back to normal.
>>
>>
>> I want to see my trophy --- the wax covered
>> strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with
>> my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the
>> glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up
>> the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the
>> hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head
>> down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
>> hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's
>> not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers
>> over the MOST sensitive part of my body, which is
>> now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make
>> the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still
>> propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do
>> something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My
>> butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk
>> around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do
>> and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the
>> urge to poop; my head may pop off!" What can I do to
>> melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll
>> run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub,
>> get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax
>> should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
>>
>> *WRONG!!!!!!!*
>> I get in the tub - the water is slightly
>> hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or
>> sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only
>> thing worse than having your nether regions glued
>> together, is having them glued together and then
>> glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot
>> water; which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
>>
>> So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as
>> though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God
>> bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago
>> to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my
>> friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has
>> some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very
>> good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha
>> are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There
>> is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret
>> tricks for removal but she does try to hide her
>> laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where
>> the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks, hole or
>> hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear
>> her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call
>> the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!!
>> I should be the joke of someone else's night.
>>
>>
>>
>> While we go through various solutions, I
>> resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor.
>> Nothing feels better than to have your girlie
>> goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the
>> tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the
>> sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
>> dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure
>> I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling
>> for this event. My friend is still talking with me
>> when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion
>> they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
>> really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and
>> OH MY!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and
>> scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo
>> painful, but I really don't care.
>>
>>
>>
>> "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty
>> congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I
>> successfully remove the remainder of the wax and
>> then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS
>> STILL HERE --- ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it
>> off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could
>> have amputated my own leg at this point.
>>
>> Next week I'm going to try hair color......

_________________
The reward for a job well done is more work

blowin · Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:41 pm Post subject:

Hillarious ! Laughing

. I just blew all my tea down my nose ! Laughing