countrytalkandtips.myfreeforum.org

quarryman · Joined: 14 Dec 2006 Posts: 417 Location: Sligo

Irish – English Translations for bloody foreigners.

Hows she goin ......... Hello how are you?
Ah grand............... I/he/she/we/ they are fine
Grand soft day........... Torrential rain and floods.
A pint of Guinness........... A pint of Guinness
A glass of Guinness........... Half a pint of Guinness.

A care............. A car.

Aaret. [air-t] .............. Art.

Een ..................... Anything small
housheen ................ A small house
Notice that you are obliged to put a H after an S once you go West of the Shannon.
That of course should be Wesht.

Types of people.

Bloody foreigner……..Anyone from outside the parish.

A Gurrier…………..A high spirited young person who had been served an ASBO.

A skanger…………..Baseball hat, tracksuit, gold chains, inability not to say F*** every second word.

A Culchy [kul-she] according to Dublin people, anyone who lives outside the M50

A Bogger……what Culchies call someone who lives outside small villages.

A Reptile……..a local politician.

If a local tradesman uses the term “immediately” that means “ next month if you are lucky”

“A deposit” for a job means he off on his holidays.

“Skilled craftsman” means he once saw someone doing the job………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Róisín · Joined: 14 Dec 2006 Posts: 39

*giggles* Please write more! Laughing

quarryman · Joined: 14 Dec 2006 Posts: 417 Location: Sligo

Irish Culture for Beginners.

Religion.

There are 3 main religions groups in Ireland.

First and foremost is The GAA. The members of this grouping practice their religion in the great outdoors on a Sunday afternoon. Some even venture to their Mecca, their Vatican their Croke Park. As children they learn the fundamentals of knocking seven kinds of s*** out of one another with various religious weapons. A GAA parent instills in their child a loyalty to their club and a confrontational attitude to referees and officials. They do this by attacking opposing officials in front of their children and showing them that a good fist to the head is much better in conflict resolution than talking it over.

During the Summer go to any beach where you can park a car and you will, no doubt, hear the dulcet tones of a GAA religious commentator being broadcast, at great volumn, from the radio of a 15 year old VW Passat. The occupant replying to the prayers with phrases like…Get up the field….His father was probably a Blueshirt….while becoming overexcited, mopping his brow with his handkerchief and dropping his ice cream cone on his lap.

They are not known for their sense of humour and if you are asked “who do you support?” do not answer with “my wife and children”.

The second most popular religion is Fianna Fail. This offshoot of an ancient Christian sect began with the second coming of Christ, namely Eammon DeValera . His was a peaceful message of dancing at crossroads with comely maidens and complete supplication to the will of God, namely Eammon DeValera.
Today they have moved forward with a message of brown envelopes, tribunals and complete supplication to the will of God, namely Bertie Aherne.
Their main shrine is Leinster House but in the Summer they do a pilgrimage to The Tent at the Galway races. Here offerings are made to the Great Lord Brian Cowan by humble peasants who have had to walk great distances from their helicopters.

The monks of this Fianna Fail order, dress in very modest Louis Copeland suits and since they do not practice the art of driving, they have to be driven round in Mercs, just to show how humble they are.

Anyone can become a follower of this religion but usually you also need to be a follower of The GAA.

Thirdly we have the various Christian religions, also Islam, Judeism, Buddists…..but they mostly follow God or a peaceful charitable path and have no place in our wonderful new Irish society.

Next week “How to get a glass of water in an Irish Restaurant for under €20” impossible I hear you say but we will see.

Róisín · Joined: 14 Dec 2006 Posts: 39

This is hilarious, keep it coming... Can we also have one for the inverse - how should the natives understand those coming in to live with us ie those from the UK? Laughing

blowin · Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:14 pm Post subject:

Absolutely !
Admin can eventually combine all the posts and put the definitions into alphabetical order so we'll end up with a right proper reference book which all the world can read ! Literally !
Ooops , that level of exposure might put a few of us shy types off . Don't be ! What I was really trying to say is don't worry about structure , spelling or grammar . We can sort that out later .
Just a couple of thoughts , tho' :
This is bound to end up with a few very rude words in the text . IF YOU MIGHT FIND THAT OFFENSIVE PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW THIS THREAD ANY FURTHER Wink

But we can't let it get out of hand so please don't be surprised or upset if Admin delete or substitute ***'s without notice . This won't be done very often and it won't be personal Wink

.
It would of course be better if you do it yourselves . Feel free to pm Admin before posting live if you like .
...... and everyone must keeping reminding themselves that none of this is personal !

blowin · Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:43 am Post subject:

Copied in from elsewhere . ( You can do this too if you spot a good one in another thread Wink

)
"Bog" = the flat wet area of land with hidden sumps you can disappear into , which is where the "turf" comes from .
"Toilet"= anywhere outside . Well , it does for blokes around here anyway .

quarryman · Joined: 14 Dec 2006 Posts: 417 Location: Sligo

A Header...A Head the ball..... A person who might just possibly be a bit.... eccentric, mad, a bit of a nutter. A bit like Quarryman

admin · Site Admin Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 227

You have to say this fairly quickly :
ELFLER ... el fler .. eld feller .. old feller ... Dad
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blowin · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:03 am Post subject:

I won't complain if I am corrected on any of these :
Boreen ( bo ng g reen ) -- the driveway leading to your house . Commonly 1/2 mile of puddles and pot holes .
The or your street -- your front drive , where you park your car or tractor ( a real one , not the Chelsea kind ) .
Kesh -- a diy bridge made of connifer trunks , rocks , car bonnets , anything really , to stop the tractor from disappearing into the bottomless ditches ( the kind that contain water ) .
Ditch -- usually an old stone wall when used in the context of field boundaries . Alternatively , the dangerously deep thing that contains water .
Yoke -- I can't think of a contemporary equivalent . Generic : Thingamybob ; widget ;one-of-those ; whatever-it-is .
Dinkshterboom -- the German equivalent of yoke but altogether much funnier Laughing

wayoutwest · Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 184 Location: west clare

ditch can also mean hedge. for instance, when my other half had a bloke arriving to tell him I had driven the car into the ditch, he panicked.... funny really, I'd only reversed it into a two foot deap stream, hidden by long grass... Confused

"you want to be a bit handy there..."
means drive carefully, the road stops for no reason and turns into a mine field of pot holes and dug up bits without warning.

auctioneer
means estate agent, and your new best friend when moving into an area. Save up all your money - they'll want it.

bacon
joint of ham, not sliced bacon. which is also called bacon. Shocked

mart
market where the buying and selling of animals will be completely undecipherable. Take a local friend!

minging
my favourite insult!

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